Make no mistake. We choose our beliefs. There’s nobody sitting behind you with a gun pointed to your head telling you to believe certain things. There’s nobody threatening to kill you if you don’t believe you are worthless, incapable, and not up to the job. 
Nobody’s forcing you to be miserable. I know that’s an uncomfortable thing to hear because we’re human beings. We’re trapped in a prison of weak flesh and we would love to have somebody or something to blame.
You choose your beliefs and they are the foundation of your reality. They are the lenses which you used to filter your reality. They’re not forced on you. You’ve voluntarily assumed them. You always have a say.
How to Fight Back?
How do you fight back against your toxic beliefs? It all boils down to being more critical. This doesn’t mean you have to turn into some jerk. It means you have to be more skeptical.
Don’t take things at face value. Somebody might say something is right or true, but you decide if that’s true by filtering the information through your experience. Use your logical reasoning facilities.
Unfortunately, if somebody we know who we love and respect says something or makes a truth claim, we are likely to pick up on what they say and assume that it’s true.
Why? In the back of our heads, we filtered that person as someone who has experienced many things and as someone who has achieved credibility and authority in our minds, so why do the heavy work and be skeptical of what he says?
Basically, you transfer the time, effort, and attention to detail that you invested in developing that friend or mentor to his claims. This is a problem because people make mistakes.
People often say the stupidest things and if you are mentally lazy and adopt what they say as true and absorb it, there will be a problem. Maybe they’re saying something that’s true to them personally, but it’s not some universal truth that applies to all people.
Stop assuming others are right. If somebody makes a big claim, don’t be afraid to look like a fool and say, “Hold on, what do you mean by this and by that?” When you do that, you stop people in their tracks. You keep them from taking leaps of faith in their argumentation. Mature, very balanced and advanced thinking people appreciate that because they understand clean logic. They understand a clean progression of argumentation in their minds.
However, people who are lazy or insecure will attack you. Be prepared for that but never be afraid of asking to look at principles because you will be the victim if you allow them to fool you.
Don’t be afraid to look at the premises behind their conclusions because there might not be a good logical fit. The bottom line to all of this is for you to adopt the mindset of being more critical and refusing to assume things. You can choose your beliefs.
You really can. You can actively make your beliefs work for you instead of against you. Please understand that beliefs are two-edged swords. Learn how to craft them so they are beneficial to you and to the people depending on you.
You are more than enough.
Judi Moreo is a keynote speaker, creativity coach, and the author of “You Are More Than Enough: Every Woman’s Guide to Purpose, Passion, and Power.” She can be contacted at judi@judimoreo.com or 702-896-2228.
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