Do You Know This Term?

I just heard a term that I had never heard before…”self-dislike.” Wow. I have heard of a lack of self-confidence or a lack of self-esteem, but I had never even considered “self-dislike.” Yet, I know people who suffer from it. In a 1992 Gallup survey, 80 percent of the people who responded said that self-esteem is one of the highest motivators a person has which causes him or her to succeed. People who like themselves tend to like others as well. They are usually self-trusting, expressive, and friendly. People who like themselves are more apt to take action toward their goals. People with “self-dislike” talk to themselves in a negative manner and prevent themselves from becoming successful.

Some people are even comfortable in the “self-dislike” mode because they can be lazy or set no goals and they won’t disappoint themselves. Or they get some type of attention from others like pity. To them, negative attention is better than no attention. But “self-dislike” is very painful.

I believe we all have something or another that we don’t like about ourselves, but that is not really “self-dislike,” because we know we can fix whatever that is, if we want to. “Self-dislike” is when you don’t feel worthwhile, when you feel like an overall failure, when you don’t respect yourself, when you aren’t satisfied with yourself, no matter how well you do something, when you create a vicious cycle of having a low opinion of yourself, so you don’t try. Then others see your lack of effort and treat you accordingly. That confirms and reinforces your low opinion of yourself.

So, if this is the case with you, what can you do about it? I would need to talk to you personally to figure out what you specifically can do, but here are just a few suggestions for some small, easy steps you can take which will help.

Exercise improves self-esteem. Thirty minutes of aerobic exercise each day will help you overcome any stress related issues as well as depression. Aerobic exercise is not hard. It is doing something as simple as walking, riding a bicycle, swimming, or jogging. Not hard to do and you don’t have to belong to a gym.
Lack of sleep or poor sleep is associated with unhappiness. Many of us are sleep deprived and it’s hard to be a dynamic personality when you are tired. Adults do need 8 hours of sleep per night to function well.
Pay attention to what you eat. Food is the fuel for your body and your mind. If you aren’t feeding yourself properly, you won’t feel good. You’ll get tired and irritable.

These are simple ways you can start. As you feel better physically, you will feel better mentally. Remember, self-esteem is a realistic, appreciative opinion of yourself. With each step forward, with each small accomplishment, you will feel better about yourself, and you can give up that “self-dislike” forever!