You have a right and even a responsibility to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind. Many people let life pass them by because they choose to be unhappy. They sit around complaining, worrying, procrastinating, and gossiping about other people instead of making the most of every day. They talk about the past and how it was “back when.” Some of them live in the state of “one time.” “One time” we did this and “one time” we did that. People who talk and think mainly about the past don’t move forward. They seem to think they will repeat past happiness by reliving their old experiences. In the meantime, their real life circumstances aren’t very happy. How sad that they are reminiscing about how life was ‘back when” and aren’t living each day to its fullest now. Why aren’t they trying to make themselves happy today? They don’t have a clue how difficult it is for others to be around them. We’ve probably heard their stories a dozen times and while we weren’t particularly interested the first time, we certainly didn’t want to hear the same stories the third or fourth time. These people don’t really have any concern for whether their stories are interesting to us or not. They are talking because they want to relive their experiences.
Other people talk about “someday when.” “Someday when” I make a lot of money, “someday when” I meet the right person, “someday when” my kids are out of school. But “someday when” comes and there’s another “someday when” holding them back. Maybe you are one of these people. If you’ve ever glorified the future believing when something changes, everything else will be better, then you are guilty of living in the future. If your household income is $35,000 a year and you talk about how wonderful life will be as soon as you are earning $50,000 a year, you need to stop right now. You are kidding yourself. By the time you earn $50,000 per year, you will want or need $75,000. Your material desires will always outgrow and outpace your income, especially if you are looking to BUY your happiness. The truth is, if you are not happy with yourself, no amount of money will change things. There will always be someone who earns more than you, has more than you, and spends more than you.
Projecting your life into the future is a way of avoiding the present . . . not taking responsibility for now. This is very similar to the state of “if only.” “If only” I were thin, “if only” I had more money, “if only” I had a better education, and the ultimate declaration: “If only” I’d win the lottery. Wishing and waiting are not powerful. They will not bring the changes you seek. My feeling is “if only” you’d concentrate on what you can do today to take the steps toward what you want to be, do, and have, you’d be a lot happier. You’d be achieving and accomplishing what you want, and you’d be enjoying the journey as well. Whenever we spend too much time in the past or the future, life seems to slip by before we ever accomplish what we want.
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