Communication makes the world go around. Interpersonal communication is communication that takes place between you and someone else. That someone else can be a spouse, friend, acquaintance, child, parent, co-worker, boss, customer, insurance salesman, etc. Effectively communicating is a two-way street.
Communication isn’t only about relaying your ideas, your opinions, or your points. Communication is the skill we use to share ideas, opinions, and points of view. This requires listening, speaking, and being present. That’s not to say your physical location, but rather giving the other person your full attention.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a mom, a baker, a CEO, or a writer, you will benefit from being able to communicate effectively. Interpersonal communication is considered to be a ‘soft skill’ in the professional world, but we must remember, society simply doesn’t function without it. That being said, our communication skills can always be improved. Four of the many ways communication can be improved are:
- Check your body language
- Learn to listen for the sake of understanding
- Be respectful
- Speak with confidence
Check your body language
No less than 93% of your communication is non-verbal. That means that only 7% of what you say is said with the words you speak.
- Body language
- Facial expressions
- Gestures
- Tone of voice
Every single one of these components deliver a message of some sort to the people with whom you are attempting to communicate. Everything from crossing your arms, to scrunching your face sends a message.
“I was taught not to speak unless I had something nice to say. My brain knows this, but my face still hasn’t figured it out.”
Your facial expressions are often your biggest tattle tale when you’re unhappy about a situation or disagree with someone, but that doesn’t mean your gestures and overall physical body language isn’t speaking volumes as well. To improve your interpersonal communication skills in this area, consciously pay attention to your hands, torso, and feet while speaking. Hear how your tone of voice drops or raises in certain situations and adjust, if you feel the need.
Often, it’s not the actual words that come out of your mouth that have the biggest impact on what the person you’re conversing with hears. Many times, it’s your tone of voice or defensive body language that has the biggest impact.
Learn to listen for the sake of listening
If our last election taught us anything, it’s that most people listen only so they can respond or offer a rebuttal- or they just don’t listen.
Remember, communication is more about listening than it is about speaking. During your conversations, make a concerted effort to zip your lip and listen intently to the person you’re sharing a conversation with for the purposes of understanding. If you don’t have understanding, you don’t have communication. Don’t listen only to respond, and don’t offer a rebuttal unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Be Respectful
If the purpose of your conversation is to collaborate on a project, or to bring ideas together, then by all means, speak when you have something to say. Just make sure it’s not when the people or person you’re conversing with are also speaking.
It’s rude to interrupt others while they’re speaking, and it sends a message that you have little to no respect for the person, his intellect, or ideas. Also, don’t finish another person’s sentences. For many people, this is a sign that you don’t value or respect them enough to hear what they’re saying.
Speak with Confidence
When it is your turn to speak, speak clearly and with the correct volume. Never yell or whisper. Both can deliver the non-verbal message that you have no idea what you’re talking about or you’re just winging it. Being overly verbal, blusterous, or loud can be annoying to many people. It tends to leave the impression of arrogance.
Conversely, when you whisper or speak quietly, it sends the message that you’re frightened or scared. So, rather than speaking too loudly or too quietly, find the correct volume of projection. There is a difference between yelling and projecting your voice.
When you speak, breathe from your diaphragm and speak confidently. When your communication does not require your actual voice, as in the case of e-mails or other electronic communication, use vocabulary and sentence structure appropriate to the message you’re sending.
Be succinct and concise in all forms of communication. Respect the people with whom you are conversing and listen more than you speak. Improvements in communication always include improvements in how well you listen to and understand the people with whom you are attempting to communicate.
Judi Moreo is a keynote speaker, creativity coach, and the author of “You Are More Than Enough: Every Woman’s Guide to Purpose, Passion, and Power.” She can be contacted at judi@judimoreo.com or 702-896-2228.
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