blonde woman looking her reflection in a mirrorWhat we put our attention to is what multiplies in our lives. Stop talking about your negative traits. The more you concentrate on them, the more they hang on.  Instead of criticizing, look for things you like about yourself. If you have actual limitations you can’t do anything about, then you need to accept them. The things most of us complain about are the things we can do something about. If you feel you are too short or too tall, there is nothing you can do about that. You might as well learn to look at the advantages of being short or tall.

I saw Michael J. Fox interviewed on television early in his career. The interviewer asked Michael how he felt about being so short, just 5 feet, 4 inches. Michael became animated and shared how he has always seen his size as an advantage! Most of us know someone with a “Napoleonic Complex” or feelings of inadequacy directly related to being short. Those people usually try to compensate by driving big cars, having big desks, or acting just plain nasty. Instead, Michael J. Fox was proud of his height and shared how much he enjoys being smaller. He said when he was younger, his family got locked out of the house and he was the one who could squeeze through the basement window to let everyone in. He has embraced a characteristic over which he has no control.

If you feel you are too heavy or too thin, you can do something about that. If you don’t like the color of your skin or the texture of your hair, that’s too bad. You’d be smart to realize the advantages you have being the way you are. If you don’t like the shape of your eyebrows, the color of your hair, or even the size of your breasts, in this day and age, there’s no reason not to change those into what you want. If your body  isn’t shaped the way you want it, change your diet or go to the gym. If you don’t  make enough money to have a gym membership, walk around the block, go to the YWCA, or better still, find a better paying job, so you can afford to go to the gym and have the other things you desire as well. You could move into an apartment or condominium complex that has a gym, get a job with a company that has a gym, or go online to find out all of the ways you can exercise that don’t cost a dime. Concentrate on what you can do, not what you can’t.

If there is something you can change to make you feel better about yourself, then for goodness sake, change it. Don’t whine about it. People don’t want to be around someone who whines and complains all the time. Most of the things we complain about are things other people wouldn’t have even noticed until we brought them to their attention. How can you be self-confident when you keep focusing on what’s wrong with you? The image you have of yourself influences all of your experiences.