Are You An Overly Emotional Person?

Do you have your emotions under control? Are you what someone would call an emotional person? Or, are you unemotional?

Some people are acutely aware of their own feelings and equally aware of the feelings of others. There are other people who are incredibly insensitive. Then, there are those who are so wrapped up in their own feelings that they allow their behavior to get carried away to the point they are dumping negativity on all those around them, and don’t seem to care nor are they aware of how that affects other people.

When we become overwhelmed by our emotions, our thoughts and behavior will be affected. Usually, this creates an unpleasant experience, not only for us, but for the people who hear our tirade. Think of a time when you got yourself all worked up over something. Maybe it was a minor incident and you completely overreacted. Did you experience any physical sensations such as making yourself sick or feeling very tired? What was going on mentally which caused you to behave in such a manner?

I was recently on a five mile walk with a woman who started talking about her relationship and the more she talked, the more she worked herself up until she was yelling. When I tried to calmly and rationally ask her to consider some alternatives, she started yelling about how everyone tells her she is too emotional. Then she added that she was not too emotional, she is just who she is and she is sick of everyone criticizing her because she has feelings. When she finished and calmed down a bit, I asked her how she felt physically. She said, “Worn out!” What she didn’t realize was that I, too, was worn out from her outburst.

What I observed here was a person with very low self-esteem who feels like a victim of her circumstances. She feels stuck. She feels out of control. She feels EVERYONE thinks she is wrong. And because of this, she has outbursts.

My questions are these! Do these outbursts accomplish anything? Do they change the circumstances? Will she do anything about her situation? Does she really feel her behavior is acceptable? How long does she think other people will listen to this before they choose not to spend time with her?

When our self-esteem is low, we may feel depressed, uptight, insecure, and victimized. It was evident that’s what was happening in this situation. And because this is not the first time I have witnessed this same person throwing the same hissy fit, I call these recurring emotions. These are the deep feelings of hurt that are underneath our more acceptable feelings. These are our core feelings, and they are usually very difficult to acknowledge.

When we have high self-esteem, we are able to express our feelings more appropriately. Feelings have powerful energy. Until we learn to experience a feeling, respect that we feel this way, and not judge ourselves whether it is right or wrong to feel something, we will experience a build-up of denied and unexpressed emotions which will result in unacceptable behavior.

Our feelings are directly related to our needs. When our needs are not being met, who is responsible for getting them fulfilled? When we don’t ask for what we need, it is usually because our self-esteem is low and we feel our needs are not important. It is imperative that we learn to express our feelings in a civilized manner if we are to have successful relationships. This means that we must learn to accept and respect our feelings ….and know they are just that…feelings! When we learn to love and value ourselves, we will no longer be at the mercy of our emotions.